The Peace Frog

"I'm going to strangle you in your sleep."

EXCLUSIVE: Arcade Fire Remix!

Count on us to deliver the big exclusives, huh? We seem to have it in tight with these up and coming indie groups. First it was our incredible Modest Mouse exclusive, "The Grey Bus Blue Over" and now we got an exclusive remix of "No Cars Go" from Montreal's own The Arcade Fire. A re-imagining of the popular track from their latest, "Neon Bible" (which, I'm told by my friends who wear checkered socks and Converse, is an excellent album), "No Cars Go: The 5-Minute Punishment Remix for Hipster Dipshits" is "a way for us to give something back to our supposed fans" says Arcade Fire frontman Win Butler. "We really hate all of them, so we figure this would be a good way to hurt them." added Win's wife and co-band leader Régine Chassagne, who inexplicably has a different last name (probably some Canadian bullshit).

They also announced that their next album, Storm Watch, slated for a Summer 2008 release, will be "a step back, musically". "There will be a lot of tracks designed around our live shows that will provide Win with plenty of opportunities to look unhappily at the audience." says Régine. "Some of the songs were recorded with no instruments at all, just Win in a recording booth, moping towards the mic." Win then looked at his wife and mouthed the words "Fuck you."

We're all very excited.

Listen to "No Cars Go: 5-Minute Punishment Remix for Hipster Dipshits" here!

Chucklebox

"He eats our dead."

The Sundae Laff Factory!

*And the date ended just like that. A kiss on the cheek and a faint glimmer of hope that maybe, this one would call. I wanted to invite him in, but how could I, how dare I be so forward? What would he think? Is there a way to be a modern forward-thinking woman fully in charge of her own sexuality and libido without being taken advantage by a male? Are women truly doomed to be the subservient gender? Anyway, I was still on my period, so intercourse would have been impossible.

**Don't you see that by denying yourself your basic animalistic sexual urges you are in fact reinforcing stereotypes and misconceptions that were inflicted on our mothers' mothers' mothers? If you are truly going to take charge of yourself and your sexuality, why reduce everything to a black and white, right and wrong, yes and no, intercourse or nothing? Surely there are all other elements of foreplay at your disposal that you could have engaged in? Even if he attempted vaginal stimulation a simple "I'm on my period" would explain all and eliminate the pointless worrying.

***Mention menstruation to a man? Now who's the one being silly? You can never ever mention menstruation to a male who you aren't completely comfortable with. It frightens them. They don't understand it, they don't like it, it disturbs them on a primal level. The blood, it stirs within them a repulsion and a jealousy, yes I said it, a jealousy. Inside every man there is a deep stirring hatred of all things female because of our position of power in the reproductive relationship. We do all the choosing and we create the life inside us, and it drives men mad. To mention your period to a man who doesn't yet respect you as a human being (instead only regarding you as a warm tight pair of vaginal lips to 'fuck') is to cause a total repulsion, to the id, the ego and the super-ego. Better to avoid the concept all together.

****Can't live with 'em, and can't live without 'em!

Politics as Usual

Remember when Bill Clinton played the Sax on the Arsenio Hall show? Remember when Al Gore made a movie about how great he was (it was the one with the subtle global warming subtext)? Remember when the decapitated head of John Kerry starred in Re-Animator?

Yes, the political world is not unfamiliar with loud and unorthodox tactics to get the voter's attention, particularly the youngsters who are usually too busy getting baked and watching Aqua Teen to get off their couches and register to vote, let alone vote. But this recent campaign speech given by one Dr. Joseph Theodore Piles takes the cake in my opinion. It's actually pretty off the hook. Almost reminds me of a low-rent RZA.

It's not my place to make fun, though. When I was campaigning for Student Council president, I made a Techno Dance Remix of the sound of my own laughter. They burned my image in an effigy. I pulled the fire alarm, we had a fire drill, my teachers said "shh, or the fire will here you" but it was too late, the fire heard us because we weren't sneaky enough and it consumed us all.

4th Grade. What times we had, hmmm?

I know, it's been a while

Both me and Staind would like to apologize for that. But I've been busy. For example...

Well, let's see. Um. Today I got a haircut. Buzz, #2. No sideburns.

Then I drove around the nearby town of Bolingbrook, seeing if I could find a new place to eat. I stopped at this Burrito place. And I had a burrito. One of them big burritos.

Fuck you, I've been busy.

I've been busy watching television. TCM is currently having a mini-marathon of women in prison movies. It's no Black Mama, White Mama but Caged is pretty arousing. Is it sexist to get turned on by contained women? Women in prison, women being suppressed, women being abused, mentally and physically? Is my hard-on hateful just because it comes from women being slapped around, put in their place like they deserve? Right now on Caged, an old woman just stabbed the warden to death with a dinner knife. Kinda poor thinking on the prisons part, to give them real knives. Women can be deadly with knives too. I'm all equal rights when it comes to knife wielding. Because even if you have breasts, if you also have a knife, I'm probably scared of you. At thanksgiving dinner the carving of the turkey was always accompanied by my panicked screams, shortening of breath, passing out, woo-woo the ambulance went, and the family had to wait until they knew I was alright before they could dig into their sweet potatoes.

Such is Life.

Speaking of life, this old woman in this movie got life for robbing a...Dugie station? What the fuck is a dugie station? I think I heard the dialog wrong. I wish I had Tivo, I could go back and figure out what this old cunt robbed.

If I was the invisible man, I'd go back in time and live in a woman's institution like this. And just watch these blondes. Jesus fuck, was there only one hair color in 1950? These big titted blondes, something about black and white* makes them so much hotter. I wish Scarlett Johanson was in black and white. Then I'd be even more aroused. I certainly would have a difficult time keeping this laptop on my lap.

And now this gay man on Turner Classic Movies is explaining how in the olden times of Sepia you couldn't show people as pregnant. That's a shame because pregnant women are beautitful. That's not a typo**.

*Best black and white Prison movie is still Black Mama, White Mama.
**Neither is my blood.

I think I know why I stopped doing this. I can't focus on bad jokes. There are oppressed and mistreated women (now in a corrective school!) to be ogled. Be back later. Much much later.

Hello, Multitudes of Readers

Waz here. I've got no Blue Sunday to offer today. As I'm sure you've noticed in your multiple daily checking of the Peace Frog... it's been pretty dead around here lately. It happens. So I figure I'll take a bit of a break as well... fear not, for Blue Sunday (and, hopefully, all the other Peace Frog segments) will be back some lucky day. And, of course, Calliope will continue to be updated every Monday and Thursday.

In the meantime, here's a little segment I like to call Doly Dollywood! (Each one is a YouTube link... the third one is especially bizarre.)