Holy Hollywood! Nicole Richie

Picture this.

A little orphan, naive and confused with the world, grows depressed and pathetic through those important, early years. Then, things start to look up when a rich, giving man adopts her and shows her a life she never thought possible! Her outlook on life changes, she learns piano, and she matures into a young, bright woman.

However, you can take the orphan out of the diseased streets, but you can't take the disease out of the orphan. At the age of 25, she begins to shrink and shrivel up, losing weight at a dangerous rate, and there's nothing she can do. She talks to doctors, she eats all the food she can find, but it's hopeless. Just hopeless.

It doesn't help that her rich foster father unfairly plants her in the limelight, leaving her open to jeers and insults. Even with her disease, they continue to make fun of her! What a sick, sick people these are...and this is as far as this story goes.

Now, here's a question. Were you aware the above story is based on true events? Before you go and fiercely shake your head, in horror that people can be so cruel and the world so unfair, calm down and take a breath. It's true. This really happened. This all happened to Nicole Richie.

Better known as the best friend to Paris Hilton, Ms. Richie has been the butt of every skinny joke for this past year. Look up any tabloid website or "real news" website for that matter, and you'll be digitally surrounded by Nicole Richie jabs.

"LOOKS LIKE NICOLE NEEDS A VISIT FROM THE SAMMICH FAIRY LOLOL!!"

"NICOLE RICHIE LOOKS LIKE A CORPSE ROFFLE ROFL!!!"

"I HATE NICOLE RICHIE CUZ SHES BLEMIC HA HA HA HA W00T!"

Yes, all of these and more await you on the world wide web. We live in a world where not only is it accepted that people will make fun of those malnourished, it is encouraged! What sort of sick logic is this? I can tell you it's one that I will not register to.

Take a gander at this photo:


Put on a couple pounds there, skinny! Ribcages are SO 1998! Somebody better call this guy up and tell him he won't need a Halloween costume. He can go as himself! "Look at me! I'm a skeleton! BOO!" Seriously, I've heard of people who amount to nothing, but this is ridiculous!

Boy, wasn't that cruel? You bet it was, and now I have your attention! Now, obviously, something like that is NOT accepted in our culture. Why, then, when a woman is in peril with a problem she can't fix, we resort to making fun of her?

After bringing us hours of entertainment in things like The Simple Life, all we can do to repay her is criticize her weight problems online? I don't think so. Step off the weight issue.

"Who the hell cares what this no-talent, dumb as a doorknob, ignorant, ugly, bag of bones does...eats...drinks...or sleeps with????" - kickservebt

Wow, that's a lot of insults there, son. One at a time, huh? Let's play nice. But okay, I'll take you on.

"No-Talent!" Wrong. Nicole Richie is apparently charismatic enough to be a personality on a successful television program, for more than one season. Hmm, I wonder if kickservebt has done that. Answer: NOPE. Also, Nicole Richie has a music album on its way in the next few months, being taught all her life by none other than Lionel Richie. No talent? Well, I haven't heard the music yet, but I'd go to say she's more talented than you.

"Dumb as a Doorknob!" What are you basing this on? Do you have her ACT scores? Her University of Arizona transcripts? You do realize she's studied multiple musical instruments, correct? I have a feeling kickservebt hasn't done any research, here.

"Ignorant!" What? How? When did she display ignorance? Ironically, it sounds like kickservebt may be ignorant, him/herself, on just what Nicole would be ignorant about. She might be ignorant (though I doubt it, because she's awesome), but there's certainly no public evidence to support that.

"Ugly!" This is always one of the last excuses someone comes up and it makes me laugh, everytime. Ugly? Says who, kickservebt? Are you Miss America? And when was this a good reason to stop caring about someone? That kid from Sudan in the picture above may not be a spring chicken, but he deserves a little bit of our attention, don't you think? No? Okay. Yeah, I guess he is too ugly.

"Bag of bones!" And we return to this. I don't understand. However, I guess, millions of haters can't be wrong (correction: yes, they can).

So Nicole's gonna keep on doing what she does, and she's going to keep fighting whatever ailment stops her from putting on weight, and people are going to keep on bugging her. That's life, I suppose. For every wonderful person, there are one million sick and perverted ones. Thank God they're not in Hollywood.